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 Post subject: Christmas cards & grown children pet peeve.
PostPosted: Wed Dec 12, 2007 2:42 pm 
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I have a Christmas card pet peeve. And maybe it’s just me and I’m not up on the proper etiquette for sending Christmas cards. :roll:

I came home for lunch today and had received some Christmas cards in the mail. In the bunch is one from a friend whose children are in their mid-twenties and haven’t lived at home since graduating. She signs her cards every year from her and her husband plus each of their kids.

Even my SIL signs her card and present from her son who is 28, owns his own business and house. Shouldn’t he be responsible enough to do it himself? I’ve even thanked him for the presents before and he just gives me a blank look and then starts laughing.

If you have grown children who do not live at home with you, do you sign your Christmas cards and presents from them as well as yourself?

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PostPosted: Wed Dec 12, 2007 2:46 pm 
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I have grown up married children. I do not sign their names on my Christmas cards! They send out their OWN Christmas cards. The only exception is that we have some extended family that we never see but I still send a Christmas card to with a little note every year. On those cards I write my name and "family". They are relatives on my late husband's side of the family, and I still try and maintain contact with them (little as it is.)


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PostPosted: Wed Dec 12, 2007 2:58 pm 
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hmmmm, I guess each situation is different.
I can see if the family is really close if the mom wanted to include her adult kids on the card.
But then again if those kids are not close to their own parents it would be strange to keep putting the names on the cards.
I think most people stop including the kids once they move out or have graduated as you said.

I would not include my adult kids names on a gift unless they were helping to pay for it. OR at least tell the kid his name is on the gift so he will be expecting the 'thank you'.
Next time you should say - "oh I guess you didnt know your name was on the gift to me."

What I hate is when my DD and I go in on a shower gift together and I dont get a thank you note or a mention on the one sent to my DD.


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PostPosted: Wed Dec 12, 2007 3:14 pm 
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Thanks for the input ladies! I definitely see both your points. I guess you have to look at each situation.

I always sent out my own cards as soon as I left home. I guess I always think, although I admit maybe it's not right that as soon as you are out of the house and employed you should take responsibility for sending out your own cards, etc.

Maybe it's a habit, I'm not sure because even my other SIL, still signs her cards from her daughter, her daughters husband and grandchild. We're in Canada (SIL too) and the niece lives in Iowa and yet she too signs her cards and gifts from them. :roll:

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I find television very educating. Every time somebody turns on the set, I go into the other room and read a book." ...Groucho Marx


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PostPosted: Wed Dec 12, 2007 6:17 pm 
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for me the signature just kind of reminds the people of the names of my kids. Even when the kids were little they wouldn't have cared if I added their names to the cards or not cause they don't even know many of these people. I will stop using their names as they get married I guess. My kids aren't at the point where they would send cards to anyone- plus the fact that they are boys so.......

You are right though. When I get a card from someone and it is from her and her husband and all the kids, I know the card is really only from her- it doesn't bother me though. What really bothers me is when I get a card from a friend I haven't seen in a very long time and they just sign their name and have no personal message at all- it's like- why bother?


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PostPosted: Wed Dec 12, 2007 9:46 pm 
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I can't really see why they would want to sign everyone's name when they aren't living at home any more. Most of my friends and relatives sign only their names & spouse name when the kids leave the nest. The only time I've included my son's name was when he was young, in college and couldn't afford a gift or card or for a funeral where we all chipped in together. Most adult children who leave home and live on their own take the responsibility of sending out cards and presents on their own and signing their own name.


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PostPosted: Sun Dec 16, 2007 9:23 am 
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I send my grown son's name out with mine because he's living at home. It would be really weird feeling for me to sign my youngest son's name and not my oldest. I never really thought about this before so maybe next year I'll just sign my DH and me. Now I'm picturing my friends saying "gosh does Linda's son still live at home?" LOL!

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PostPosted: Sun Dec 16, 2007 1:18 pm 
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Since my sons moved out, I removed their names from the cards. Now, when I send my neighbor her card I include our dog and cats' names. She watches them for us when we are traveling so I think it is only fair to include them. :)

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PostPosted: Sun Dec 16, 2007 3:49 pm 
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I don't have kids, but I think once they are on their own, they should send their own cards. I sign mine with drawn images of Dennis & me and our six dogs. If I should forget to sign it this way, I hear immediately from those people. They want to know if I'm mad or if something happened. :lol:

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PostPosted: Sun Dec 16, 2007 5:06 pm 
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Virginia(MN) wrote:
I sign mine with drawn images of Dennis & me and our six dogs. If I should forget to sign it this way, I hear immediately from those people. They want to know if I'm mad or if something happened. :lol:


that's a great little anecdote. Creative :D

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PostPosted: Sun Dec 16, 2007 5:13 pm 
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Lynnk wrote:
for me the signature just kind of reminds the people of the names of my kids.


That is an interesting point which I had not considered.

Lynnk wrote:
What really bothers me is when I get a card from a friend I haven't seen in a very long time and they just sign their name and have no personal message at all- it's like- why bother?


Yes, I admit to feeling that way also. On the other hand, I am happy they remembered me at all!

I send out my own Christmas cards, but half the time when I sent them to all the extended family, my parents seem to be the ones that actually get the cards in response (not me). I suppose it is because these distant (and often elderly) relatives know my mother, more than me.

I do not have kids, but if I do, I would think after they leave home I would cease to sign their names, perhaps even before then. If they were old enough to participate in the Christmas/holiday card exchange, I might ask them to at least sign their own name, or if the card is to someone they should know, add their own note.

Yes, I agree regarding presents, unless one has chipped in towards a present in some way, in general the name of one's children should not be included (though I am sure there are always exceptions and equally valid reasons for doing other ways, that I have not considered.)

Interesting food for thought...

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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Mon Dec 17, 2007 12:33 am 
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I would find that odd. If I were sending something on behalf of an extended family I'd just put our last name. My husband's parents send cards signed that way to my parents a few times a year. They may include basic "what we are up to" info about everyone, but it is more or less a given that Ahmed's mom and dad sent the card, and the regards of the rest of the family with it. They'd never list names of other adults.

Know what really bugs me, though? I mean... this time of year I actually get red faced about it.

People who use possessive in addressing cards or identifying themselves. Unless your home is sending me the card, and frankly... I don't have a close personal relationship with any home I don't own.

The Smiths <--- This is from the Smith family, or to the Smith family.

The Smith's <--- This is from something or someone belonging to the Smith family.

Is your pet sending me the card? Why didn't Fluffy sign it himself? Is your house able to mail it for you? Is the card being sent to me by your residence?

It has become epidemic. It's almost always family, which is humiliating.

Former English teacher... can't help it.

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