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 Post subject: aspiring troubles
PostPosted: Mon Apr 10, 2006 9:57 pm 
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Joined: Mon Apr 10, 2006 9:01 pm
Posts: 88
Location: Ruther Glen, Virginia
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I am kinda new here. I had been come now and then back in January, but then when my husband passed away I stopped.

I love the new look.

I am an aspiring writer. I have been researching for the past year for my first book(s) and had just started the actual book when my husband passed away Jan 30, since then it has been difficult for me to write. Motivation is part of it, the fire I had inside me to write had almost died out. I find it hard to stay motivated when I am facing my in-laws, moving, trying to sell a home that was not deeded to me or willed, and all that goes with the the loss of a loved one.

my book(s) will cross several genres fantasy, historical, contemporary,suspense. I love to research and love it how willing the experts are to help. It's great how helpful scholars. doctors, and many other experts are willing to share their knowledge.


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PostPosted: Mon Apr 10, 2006 11:22 pm 
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Joined: Sun Mar 19, 2006 9:49 pm
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Location: Georgia, USA
Hi there

I wonder if you are ready to write when there is so much going on your real life. Don't get frustrated, when you are ready, you will find the motivation.

I don't think I would be able to write fiction if I had all that going on, especially after the loss of a spouse. How about trying to write in a journal about your feelings of everything that is going on. Sometimes that helps you get through and cope. You may even find inspiration for a story where a heroine is experiencing the same trials you are.

Hang in there and give yourself time to breath and cope.

Mari

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 Post subject: Aspiring Troubles
PostPosted: Tue Apr 11, 2006 10:06 am 
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Hello, JM and Mari,

Sometimes trouble will suck the life out of your writing, and there is nothing you can do but give yourself a sorely needed break. To make sure inertia doesn't take over, though, I would try to write for a couple of hours per day once things calm down, maybe for a week, to see if I have calmed down enough to take refuge in my work. Lather, rinse, repeat!

I'm so sorry to hear about your loss, JM. I haven't been through that yet.

What I know about myself is that the worse things get for me, the more I need to write. That's why I describe myself as "driven" :wink: We all have emotional and situational disasters sooner or later, and I'll be selfish and say we should never compare pain. But big pain can be a big motivator to live in your imagination. If you give yourself regular writing check-ups to see if you are ready to write again, I hope you will find that you can work again, and use your work to escape some hurt.

My heart goes out to you. Don't give up permanently, just give yourself time.

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Wendy is a driven, unpublished author (paranormal) who would love to correspond and/or meet (!!!) with other hopefuls and/or published authors. She resides in the Dayton, Ohio area. Please write to wendyswope@mindspring.com.


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PostPosted: Tue Apr 11, 2006 11:40 am 
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Joined: Tue Mar 07, 2006 4:10 pm
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Location: Ontario, Canada
Hi josh's mom,

I'm sorry to hear about your loss.

I think hang in there with your writing. But first and foremost, write for yourself. Don't look at what publishers are seeking at the moment -- the tides are always changing on that anyhow.

Write from your heart, listen to when your emotions speak. Some writers write their best when their emotions are raw.

A few years back I was facing a surgery that was extremely risky. I felt emotionally I was dying a little each day. I needed an escape. I put aside a historical I was writing and began to write a fantasy (something I normally wouldn't have written) but I needed an escape. The pages poored from me and I felt a much needed relief. I never finished the book, but it was my best writing.

I hope this helps.

Take care,

Angelique


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PostPosted: Tue Apr 11, 2006 11:40 am 
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Joined: Mon Mar 06, 2006 6:03 pm
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Location: Lexington, KY
Hi Josh's Mom,
I'm so sorry for your loss. I don't think anyone can know what it's like to lose a spouse until it happens, yet we all experience grief. Comfort comes in strange places, I think. Sometimes in the words we write, sometimes in a long walk, memories, etc.. One thing is for sure . . . when the time comes, you're writing will have a depth that goes beyond what you can imagine right now.

I lost my dad in 1997. We were close and I grieved for a year. When that fog lifted, I got serious about my writing. I've dabbled all my life, but this time, when I sat at the keyboard, it was all brand new. The result was WEST OF HEAVEN, my second sale and the book that's dedicated to my mom for having the courage to love twice.

Keep us posted (what a horrible pun!) . . . Writers need each other.

P.S. I live in Virginia, too.

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PostPosted: Tue Apr 11, 2006 9:24 pm 
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Location: Texas
I know for me that writing is very much like therapy. In fact, my actual therapist always asks me how my writing is going because she uses that as a gauge for my mental state -- she knows when Life is overwhelming I can't seem to write. Of course, it really helps me to write. But sometimes I just can't do it, and that's when I need to take a break and not beat myself up for not writing.

I think everyone's given you great advice for now -- write when you can, but don't force yourself to do it. Have you tried journaling? That helps me sometimes clear my head. Not that I've been able to maintain a journal for very long. :)

I'm very sorry for your loss but I'm sure you'll be able to take all the emotions you've been going through and put them into your writing someday. It was VERY hard for me to write during my divorce (especially romance!), but eventually I was able to and I think my writing improved because it was more honest and more ME, you know? I can only imagine what it's like to lose someone so dear but I have a feeling that when I do go through it (as we all do at some point) that I'll eventually explore it in my writing as I'm fairly sure you will, too. Just give yourself time to heal and don't push yourself too quickly, okay?

Jennifer

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